The New News Times

The New News Times is a fictional set of newspapers that are seen around New Wattsonburg. They are based off of a real newspaper known as the New York Times and their headlines, mosty fake or debatably fake and ridiculous stories.

Notable Headlines

 * Robbery of a Glue Store
 * Violence Causes Violence
 * Missing Taco: 11 Years Later
 * Are Furnaces To Blame For Everything?
 * Gingerbread Men: Good Or Evil?
 * Is Bigfoot My Neighbor?
 * Man Gets Fired For 'Doing His Job'
 * "What Are You Gonna Do, Stab Me?' - Man Who Was Stabbed
 * How To Divide 0 By 0 And Always Be Right